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 Corrupt a Wish!

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EuropustheImperialYuppie

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Mon Feb 29, 2016 4:24 am

Granted, but your company only connects between Damascus and Pyongyang.

I wish i didn't break up with my ex.
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Double Pendulum

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Tue Mar 01, 2016 7:54 am

Granted, both of you grew up together and wed, but you die days later after your marriage and she gets all your stuff.

I wish I found a cure for cancer.
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EuropustheImperialYuppie

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Tue Mar 01, 2016 3:58 pm

Granted, but the cure kills off healthy cells as well, killing the patient.

I wish that there was no more poverty.
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TwiSetGlimmer

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Tue Mar 01, 2016 4:13 pm

Granted; teams of flamethrower-armed cleaners "sweep" the streets, incinerating the homeless.  Overseas, napalm does the job efficiently.

I wish Hasbro would make a MLP film not bound by the TV/Y rating (but still not R rated [or NC-17]).
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alicorns

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Tue Mar 01, 2016 4:38 pm

Granted. It's based on that terrible G3.5 short "Over Two Rainbows." It's so terrible it kills the MLP brand.

I wish I could beat the Touhou Project games.
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TwiSetGlimmer

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Tue Mar 01, 2016 4:47 pm

Granted; you're so engrossed in the games that you forget to eat or sleep, and soon after beating them you die of starvation/dehydration.

I wish for this wish to not be granted.
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EuropustheImperialYuppie

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Tue Mar 01, 2016 5:40 pm

Granted, this paradox tears the universe to shreds.

I wish that I was a likable person.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Tue Mar 01, 2016 10:46 pm

Granted; you become so charismatic that you acquire a following. Eventually, it becomes one of the largest cults in the land. So large, in fact, that your home country deems your people a threat and begins persecuting them endlessly. Mass murders of cultists in the streets line the news, and you have no choice but to run. Finally, it all ends with a bullet to your own head in a remote cabin, far from the nearest town. Some villagers, out in the woods for a stroll, happen across your body, and you're buried in an unmarked grave in a land that's anything but home.

I wish that wish-granting entities be required to interpret wishes in accordance with the intent of the wisher.
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EuropustheImperialYuppie

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Tue Mar 01, 2016 10:54 pm

Granted, but they can only interpret the worst case scenario that you think somebody else will think of.

I wish that every country was a democracy.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Tue Mar 01, 2016 11:05 pm

Granted, but the only people who vote are complete imbeciles.

I wish for the ability to control the direction news anchors are looking when they talk.
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EuropustheImperialYuppie

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Wed Mar 02, 2016 12:07 am

Granted, but you hear every perverse thought that comes into every reporters' mind at all times.

I wish that Ohio didn't exist.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Wed Mar 02, 2016 12:24 am

Granted, but all of the Ohioans now live in and around every town. You can never escape them.

I wish for 4Chan's residents to vanish from existence.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Wed Mar 02, 2016 2:16 am

Granted, but a fresh new stock of idiots repopulate the site in two days.

I wish for peace in Syria.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Wed Mar 02, 2016 2:33 am

Granted; everybody in Syria is now dead and it's well-known that it was your fault.  You are now guilty of mass genocide, and the Hague is preparing a trial for you as we speak.

I wish for the ability to alter the coefficient of friction of stadiums during sporting events.
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Double Pendulum

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Wed Mar 02, 2016 11:12 pm

Granted, but you had a hard time controlling your ability and ended up unintentionally killing a lot of people who died from ridiculous accidents that defy the laws of physics.

I wish I have the power of healing factor like Deadpool and Wolverine.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Thu Mar 03, 2016 1:06 am

Granted. However, a shadowy group captures you and uses you to test their biological weapons for all eternity.

I wish I had my own Maus.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Thu Mar 03, 2016 1:24 am

Granted, yet the cannon misfires causing the shell to explode inside the turret killing you.

I wish San Francisco rent was affordable.
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Zachtia

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Thu Mar 03, 2016 4:40 am

Granted, but now rent in San Francisco is so affordable, that questionable characters that cause trouble start moving into the city.

I wish I had financial stability.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:43 am

Granted; your finances are indeed stable, but they are stable below the poverty line.

I wish Trump were made Drumpt again.
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EuropustheImperialYuppie

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Thu Mar 03, 2016 2:14 pm

Granted, but he now has a 100% chance of winning the election.

I wish Princess Celestia could rule over the US.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Thu Mar 03, 2016 3:25 pm

Granted. Unfortunately, it's the Celestia from the Conversion Bureau series of fanfics. Everyone is turned into eternally smiling ponies with next to no will. And all of humanity's presence is eventually wiped out from the Earth.

I wish for a penny.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Thu Mar 03, 2016 3:44 pm

Granted, you now have a completely useless piece of currency.

I wish for some high-qualitity car mods.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Fri Mar 04, 2016 2:02 am

Granted.  You now have a great amount of high-quality car mods for the original Model-T. May you enjoy your antiquated roadster being the gas-guzzling king of the road.

I wish for a hundred dollars in pennies.
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EuropustheImperialYuppie

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Fri Mar 04, 2016 3:13 am

Granted, the pennies appear magically 5 feet above your head, falling and crushing you.

I wish I had a smol doggo
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupt a Wish!   Fri Mar 04, 2016 3:22 am

Granted, you get a small doggo.  Have fun with your ugly midget girlfriend.

I wish Starlight Glimmer had defeated and converted the Mane 6 and used them to take over Equestria.
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